When I hear people say about NVC, “This is not natural,” I think to myself, “Oh, it is natural, but I’m guessing it’s not habitual!”
We’re born with feelings that bring attention to needs. Babies cry when they’re hungry, tired, wet, or needing care of some sort. Babies usually gurgle happily when they’re comfortable and someone is smiling, playing, and tickling—giving them attention.
If we were all encouraged to notice, feel, and acknowledge our feelings and needs, we would continue that natural connection. Instead, it seems that we learn to stuff, hide, or be embarrassed about our feelings and needs, and we lose connection with them. But they are a natural part of being human. …
“Do something!”
You may have heard these words in connection with Kamala Harris and Michelle Obama’s recent Democratic National Convention speeches. They urged people who might be discouraged or distressed by political events to “Do something!” Take action to address the situation rather than feel hopeless.
I think of, “Do something” as a doable request, the fourth step in Nonviolent Communication. “Do something” is an action that can be asked of yourself or someone else to meet the needs you would like to have met. …