Connecting through differences

January 22, 2024 Bryn Hazell

Photo by @krakenimages on Unsplash. Laughing woman and man sit on yoga mat in a studio, laptop open in front. — Photo by @krakenimages on Unsplash

In a recent practice group, we had a very interesting discussion about a topic where there was a wide variety of perspectives.

We considered the question, “What feelings and needs come up with the situation of one partner in a marriage having a close friendship with someone of the opposite sex?” (I realize this question would be phrased differently for same-sex couples.)

This question allowed us to explore a topic from the NVC perspective of Feelings and Needs, rather than it being “wrong” or “right.” The question led to curiosity and affinity, rather than judgment. …

Equanimity in Today’s World

October 14, 2023 Bryn Hazell

Orange and yellow abstract art over silhouette of woman hands to head — Photo by JR Korpa, on Unsplash

Recently, I’ve been involved in conversations concerning how to be in the world with the terrible violence of wars, climate change, political division, and social disconnection between groups and ideologies.

People say they don’t want to ignore what’s going on in the world and at the same time they don’t want to be so overwhelmed by events that they numb out and lose their life energy.

How to be in the world with what might be called “equanimity”? …

A Celebration of Needs-Consciousness!

September 11, 2023 Bryn Hazell

Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash: Closeup of colorful painted rocks - blue HOPE rock center. — Photo by Nick Fewings, on Unsplash

These past few years I’ve noticed more people in the media talking about people’s values and needs—and I’m feeling pretty excited and encouraged with that awareness. To be clear, I hear plenty of labeling and name calling too, and yet I want to notice and appreciate comments that are less judgmental.

I’ve been hearing more exploration of viewpoints with the focus on concerns and values. I’m remembering a top public health official during the pandemic talking about people who weren’t taking the vaccine, wearing masks, or were against the closure of schools, etc. …

Responding rather than Reacting

February 20, 2023 CCL

B&W photo: hand blocking camera, "go away" — Photo by Philbo on Unsplash

This post is part of our weekly series of peacemaking practices during the Season of Nonviolence.

What if someone says something that sparks an immediate emotional response and before any thinking or reflection, you fire back a judgment or an attack in reaction to what they’ve said? Just like that there can be a flurry of words that end in hurt, anger, and disconnection. Haven’t we all been there? …

A Celebration for: Braver Angels!

November 29, 2022 Bryn Hazell

Red white and blue plastic toy dinosaurs against aqua background (street art poster) — Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

For the last 20+ years, I’ve been sharing and practicing Compassionate (Nonviolent) Communication because I strongly believe communication is the key to healthier individuals, better relationships, and peaceful resolution of conflict.

I’ve offered—and will continue to offer—classes that help people learn and practice these communication skills that I find so life-changing, life-enriching, and necessary.

Recently I was very excited to learn of a nonprofit called Braver Angels that also teaches people how to listen and speak with the goal of resolving differences nonviolently. Braver Angels is particularly trying to address the Red/Blue divide in the U.S. …

When You Hit a Wall

April 15, 2020 Denise Torres

At the last practice group, there were a few people who talked about hitting a wall sometime this past week, and I was one of them. I want to share that experience with you.

The whole day long I carried this unclear but ever-present sense of anxiety. (It wasn’t because of anything in particular. My guess is that it was because of everything.) With the anxiety came restlessness and dissatisfaction. Nothing seemed interesting. I was so caught up in the discomfort it became the thing that informed everything else.

Later in the evening, I decided to flip through the photo gallery on my phone—hoping for something uplifting—and I ran across a photo of some board work I had done in one of my classes. Yes, that’s right, one of my classes: I was teaching others something that I myself had totally lost sight of all day long. Although I had already told myself I could drown my feelings by reading a book, and even though I really wanted to read the book, I thought, “You know what to do.” So I put the novel aside and got out my journal. …

Reaching across the divide

January 31, 2017 Bryn Hazell

Are you feeling sad, anxious, concerned, and scared? Are you aching to be heard and seen? Are you feeling hopeless about connecting with someone who sees the world so very differently, who doesn’t seem to share your same reality? Does your heart hurt when conversation leads to disconnection and the love and caring in the relationship seems to evaporate?

How we can go high

August 2, 2016 Bryn Hazell

Dear Friends,

“When someone is cruel or acts like a bully, you don’t stoop to their level. No, our motto is, when they go low, we go high."

Those are Michelle Obama’s words spoken during her speech at the Democratic National Convention. And it got me to thinking, what does it look like to “go high”?