Denise: When I first learned about the executive orders issued on Inauguration Day, I felt sick to my stomach. I was outraged and so very sad. I could not reconcile the reality of these words with the incomprehensibility of their intent. After more government pronouncements and actions, I still find it hard. As I walked myself through these feelings, I realized how important it is to ask myself these key questions: What can I do, what can’t I do, what will I do and what won’t I do? This gave me clarity and restored my ability to move forward—to do what I can do. And for me, that’s to continue to teach and mentor others in NVC. Sharing the following content by Alan Rafael Seid is part of that commitment.
Bryn: We think this piece reflects the heart and deep consciousness of NVC, as well as offers specific ideas for how our NVC tools can be useful during this intense time. We hope you will also find it inspiring and helpful.
The following excerpts are from an article written for PuddleDancer Press called “Using Nonviolent Communication (NVC) to Address the Roots and Impacts of Extremism” by Alan Rafael Seid, a CNVC Certified Trainer. We’re reposting it as a series (with permission) in the hopes that you might read and consider each section over time and reflect on how you might use your skills to connect with others during these difficult times. In contribution to this year’s Season of Nonviolence, we’ll archive the series in the SNV section of our website.
Excerpted from Using Nonviolent Communication (NVC) to Address the Roots and Impacts of Extremism by Alan Rafael Seid. Please visit PuddleDancer Press to learn more about Nonviolent Communication.
What is extremism and how is it relevant in today’s world?
Extremism refers to holding beliefs, attitudes—or exhibiting behaviors—that deviate significantly from what is considered acceptable by societal norms, often in ways that promote intolerance, hostility, or violence.
Extremism spans political, religious, and ideological contexts. In NVC terms, extremism emerges from unmet needs, such as a longing for significance, belonging, or security. Vulnerable individuals can be recruited or otherwise convinced that these needs could get met within radical groups or ideologies. …
Nonviolent Communication (NVC) as a transformative process
What makes NVC transformative in addressing extremism is its ability to bridge divides and humanize even the most difficult conversations.
Extremist ideologies often thrive on “us-vs-them” narratives and dehumanization.
NVC provides a pathway to disrupt these patterns by encouraging self-awareness and mutual understanding. It contributes to individuals moving away from reactive, defensive communication and toward meaningful dialogue.
NVC can be applied at multiple levels — within yourself, in interpersonal relationships, and even in larger societal contexts such as public meetings and within groups and organizations.
Whether it’s helping someone recognize their unmet needs and vulnerabilities before succumbing to radical influences, or creating dialogues across polarized groups, NVC has tangible tools to foster peace and prevent escalation.
In a world increasingly marked by division, NVC reminds us of our shared humanity and the potential for empathy to disarm extremism at its roots. …
… To address extremism effectively, it’ll be valuable to look beyond surface behaviors to the deeper causes that could drive any individual toward such paths.
