These past few years I’ve noticed more people in the media talking about people’s values and needs—and I’m feeling pretty excited and encouraged with that awareness. To be clear, I hear plenty of labeling and name calling too, and yet I want to notice and appreciate comments that are less judgmental.

I’ve been hearing more exploration of viewpoints with the focus on concerns and values. I’m remembering a top public health official during the pandemic talking about people who weren’t taking the vaccine, wearing masks, or were against the closure of schools, etc. She described some as: a) not trusting the science since the mask directive had changed, and because the MRNA vaccine was new and hadn’t had a long history; b) concerned about the personal and community economic impact of shutdowns; and c) worried about the emotional and educational effect on children who were not going to school. I appreciated the health official for speaking to values and concerns, while others were characterizing individuals in these groups (with judgments) as uninformed, uncaring, and irresponsible. Translation: Needs for Shared Reality, Caring, and Responsibility.

I’ve noticed needs-based focus on other topics, too, including the houseless, people quitting jobs, drug and alcohol addiction, racism, and the economy.

I hope this emphasis on what people are valuing (often in the context of a particular life experience) leads to better understanding and less hostility.

Part of the practice of Compassionate Communication is to translate judgments into needs with the belief that judgments are tragic expressions of needs. Judgments are described as “tragic” because they can separate us from our compassion. When we go from judgments to values and needs, we connect with our humanity and with the humanity in others.