One of the gifts of Compassionate/ Nonviolent Communication is utilizing our knowledge of needs to empower ourselves to live our values. We can choose to create our experience by focusing our actions to be in alignment with what we would like in the world. When needs are met, we feel more joyful, satisfied, and peaceful.
Here’s one example of using intentions and actions to create what you want:
Self-Care. Do your best to stay well-rested and relaxed. Prepare for being with others by listening to music, resting, taking a walk, meditating, etc., so your system will support your peaceful heart and your intentions.
Focus on what needs/ values you want to meet, what experience you would like to have. Set your intention and your actions. For example:
Self-compassion. Acknowledge your feelings/ needs with friendly caring and without judgment. If you are tired or stressed, you might share that information with others and give yourself permission to be present, but quiet. If you are feeling relaxed and friendly: Smile, speak, and listen with warmth and presence and contribute to enriching everyone’s experiences.
Acceptance and Compassion. If you find yourself judging yourself and/ or others, choose to guess the needs that are trying to be met. All needs are life-serving. There are no negative needs. Our strategies come from unique life experiences. Accept that we are different rather than right/wrong. Acknowledge difference.
Celebration and Connection. People are coming together hoping to celebrate and acknowledge their relationships. Focus on the commonalities and the connections that bring people together. Speak and ask about these things.
When we prepare for and live life with clear intentions to meet our values, it makes it more likely that we will feel happy, satisfied, and peaceful. When we focus on our own actions, we are focusing on what we can control—rather than on the actions of others, which we can’t control.
What are you hoping for this holiday season? How can you create more of it?
~ Bryn
