When I hear people say, “Speak your truth,” I feel concerned because the word “truth” seems to be more closed than open. It doesn’t appear to leave room for other perspectives. I like “Speak your experience” better because it seems more open to me. “Here’s my experience. What’s yours?”
For example, someone might say, “The police are racist and violent.” Another person might say, “The police make us safe and protect us.”
What do you imagine the first person’s experience with the police might be? If we think of their words as speaking their experience, it’s easier to be curious about what’s happened to cause them to think of law enforcement in that way. Can you imagine what the second person’s experience with the police might be?
These two people could have an argument about who is right. Or they could be curious about how they could have such dissimilar positions. Rather than looking for the truth about the police, they might see that each of their experiences has brought them to different views. There is no one “truth.” There are many perspectives.
I find thinking this way leaves more space for acknowledging people’s experiences and instead of agreeing or disagreeing, we can grow in understanding.
Wherever there are disagreements — differences that result in different judgments — I think it would be helpful to steer the conversation toward sharing experiences that might open the conversation to connection and understanding rather than right/wrong arguing.
What do you think about this idea? Do you have an example that you might share? Can you think of a time when you were arguing right/wrong when this idea might have been helpful to create connection, instead of disconnection?
